At times, all of us wonder why we react in certain ways. You might say “I don’t know why I got so upset” or “I don’t know why he makes me so uncomfortable.” And the answer may lie in your past.
New research is showing that when something upsetting happens to us (a trauma), we store that event emotionally and energetically in our bodies. Now, this is no surprise when you’re talking about a natural disaster, crime, or auto accident. Of course those are traumatic! But we also store what I’ll call ‘little ‘t’ traumas’ – and these can be as minor as a 3rd grade teacher speaking to you harshly, or a parent’s angry comment. We all have lots of ‘little ‘t’ traumas – it’s normal.
However, traumas are re-triggered when something in our lives today remind us of the previous trauma. And here’s the problem: when we are re-triggered, we immediately have not only the experience of the previous trauma, but ONLY THE RESOURCES THAT WE HAD AT THE TIME OF THE ORIGINAL TRAUMA.
What does this mean? And how can this affect your business and your life?
Well, for example, if you were rejected at age 13 by a boy you had a crush on, that ‘little ‘t’ trauma’ may still be operating in you. Now, when you try to market your business as an adult, if a prospect rejects you, not only might you feel the same rejection that you felt at age 13, but you immediately have only the resources (maturity and coping mechanisms) that you had at age 13. And so you stammer, get upset, and behave badly – it’s no surprise, you’re acting like a 13-year-old. And according to cutting-edge science, it’s perfectly understandable that you do this.
While this may seem like an extreme case, think about all the things that you do in your business, and in your life, that you’re uncomfortable with. I know very few people who just love networking events. Most don’t like talking to clients about money. Many people are uncomfortable around technology, or many can’t seem to get organized. Do any of these sound familiar?
Perhaps you’re not concerned with a little discomfort in your business life. After all, business has to be work, right? And you probably work on yourself anyway – you meditate, pray, take personal growth workshops, read books, etc, etc. So why should you worry about a little discomfort?
Besides the fact that life is more fun without the discomfort, ask yourself – are you sure that you’re the best adult that you can be in that situation? Or is your upset child, or petulant teenager, coming out whenever something from your past is triggered? Is this the person that you want working in your business, or running part of your life?
And it doesn’t matter how much personal growth work you’ve done – if you haven’t specifically cleared the ‘little ‘t’ traumas, you’re at risk for not acting your age.
How do you know whether you’re being re-triggered? A good indication is whether you’re enjoying ALL your business and life activities. If you’re not, and most people aren’t, consider clearing the old patterns that are interfering. If you wouldn’t let a little child handle a conversation with an important client, make sure that you’re the best person (adult) that you can be.
Copyright (c) 2009 Pamela Bruner
Pamela Bruner specializes in helping service professionals overcome their blocks to success so they get more clients, make more money and have it all be easy. Does marketing your business feel challenging or painful? Learn how to make your success easy by signing up for your free copy of the mini-e-Course ‘5 Secrets to Business Success’ at www.makeyoursuccesseasy.com.
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